From Fasting to Feasting

  “Whom shall he teach a knowledge ? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are b weaned from the c milk , and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, a precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little…” Isaiah 28:9-10 God, from the beginning of the fall of Adam and Eve, instituted the eternal laws of progression; a pattern for learning. There is an order to progression. It comes the same way for every one of us, from the least to the greatest. We are taught that even Jesus Christ, our Savior and Mediator, learned in this fashion. He did not have a fullness at first, but learned line upon line. (Luke 2:40, Doctrine and Covenants 93:12-14) Thus the pattern was established that we should grow into our gifts, our purposes for being on this earth, and our eternal progressions. Understanding that this is the way our Father in Heaven works, I have always struggled with the idea that Joseph Smith was a pro...

I was struggling. A lot. There were moments of peace. Moments where I wasn’t feeling completely heavy. Mostly though, I put on a brave face. I walked around and smiled and returned to life as normal…because, well, what else was I supposed to do?  But there was nothing normal about my life and how I was feeling. I had a million questions. What about our sealing? Do I still want that? Was it all really just mental illness? Or was there a lot of just foul temper in there too? Who can know for sure…they both look so much the same.  There were days and days of debate within my heart. Hours and hours of wondering if I wanted to be sealed to this man for all of eternity or if I wanted to seek another relationship with someone who would be an actual partner in life. I had dreams about Cory. I had dreams about finding someone who was kind and gentle. Those two dreams were never the same night. It was never Cory who was the someone who was kind and gentle. It was always some ot...

Cory. The first time I met him and he told me his name, five minutes later I called him "Cody." And that is how we began, with me hurting his feelings because I remembered the wrong name. Twenty years and 3 months and one day after that first meeting, he died. I can hardly believe the life I've lived in those 20 years...it seems we packed an eternity of experiences - both good and awful - into those two decades. We were engaged the day we met. Four months later we were married. Thirteen years later we divorced. Two years after that, we were married again. Four years (plus a little) later, divorced again. Ten months, three weeks, and five days later, he was dead. The first divorce, I didn't know it was mental illness. One moment he was loving and the best man I'd ever known. The next moment he was scary and someone I was afraid to be around. He would apologize and I would believe him when he told me he would not do it again. I would immediately extend trust...

In Mosiah 11:17-19, we read: 17 And king Noah sent guards round about the land to keep them off; but he did not send a sufficient number, and the Lamanites came upon them and killed them, and drove many of their flocks out of the land; thus the Lamanites began to destroy them, and to exercise their hatred upon them. 18 And it came to pass that king Noah sent his armies against them, and they were driven back, or they drove them back for a time; therefore, they returned rejoicing in their spoil. 19 And now, because of this great victory they were lifted up in the pride of their hearts; they did boast in their own strength, saying that their fifty could stand against thousands of the Lamanites; and thus they did boast, and did delight in blood, and the shedding of the blood of their brethren, and this because of the wickedness of their king and priests.  As I was pondering on those verses this morning, I was reminded of how very much like King Noah and his p...

As we continue on with the conversation of Jacob in preparing us to understand the Olive Tree Allegory, he begins to tell us the real purpose for the truths he is going to make known to us. In verses 11, Jacob is telling us to reconciled to Christ, that we might obtain a resurrection in Christ, "...and be presented as the first-fruits of Christ unto God, having faith, and obtained a good hope of glory in him before he manifesteth himself in the flesh."  In other words, we are to be reconciled to God through Christ, by way of the Atonement of the Savior.  What do these words mean?  Application and personal receiving of the Atonement into our hearts for sure.  But there is more to it than that.  Jacob goes from speaking of reconciliation to the stumbling of the Jews to being filled with the spirit of prophecy to teaching the parable of the olive tree.  This, it would seem, is the answer to what it means to be reconciled to Christ and to God through the Ato...

The allegory of the Olive Tree is one of my favorite things in all the world.  Jacob, along with the book of James (who is the mortal brother of the Savior), ties for second place in my scripture hierarchy.  As we go through this allegory (which will be broken down into many parts), I hope to adequately represent why Jacob is one of my favorite prophets. I'm going to just share what I wrote a couple of years ago in my scriptures about these verses as I was studying them.   In order to give the full understanding of the verses in chapter 5, we have to go to chapter 4 and gain perspective a bit.  So follow along, if you wish, as we walk the paths of Jacob's heart. The first few verses of chapter 4 tell us why they have written on these plates and that they rejoice in the very laborious process which is part of this gift they have preserved for us. Then we get into verses 4 and 5. "For, for this intent have we written these things, that they may kn...

In Mosiah chapter four, we find the people of King Benjamin just after he has taught them great truths about the Savior, His Atonement, the natural man, and many other notable and important doctrines.  They were understanding them with their hearts (whether or not they understood with their heads) for perhaps the first time in their lives.  And their reaction was one of true repentance.  "And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth.  And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.  And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their...