From Fasting to Feasting

We learn in the next few verses of chapter 1 that Lehi was not accustomed to Spiritually intense manifestations. He came home exhausted and fell to his bed. Here is the next truth we learn…often the initial revelation is only the tip of the iceberg.  There is another beautiful truth we gain here - God is aware of our human bodies and the limitations they have when we are beginning our interactions with the Spirit in very powerful ways. Again and again the doctrines, instructions, truths, and mysteries are revealed in dreams. This is incredibly efficient as the body can rest and the conscious mind doesn’t fight the message that is coming. God is able to do things like that and He does them for us often. But the big takeaway for me in verses 6-14 is that there was SO much more the Lord desired to reveal to Lehi than what was revealed in the very beginning. Lehi could have panicked after that first pillar revelation and fought through his exhaustion to talk with his family about it al...

 In the very first verse of the Book of Mormon we learn that what we are about to read is written by an old man, reviewing his life and choosing out of his life the experiences which taught him that which was most essential in order to achieve the thing he felt was of the most worth. What is the first thing that Nephi teaches us? We find it in verses 4-5:  4 For it came to pass in the commencement of the first year of the reign of Zedekiah, king of Judah, (my father, Lehi, having dwelt at Jerusalem in all his days); and in that same year there came many prophets, prophesying unto the people that they must repent, or the great city Jerusalem must be destroyed. 5 Wherefore it came to pass that my father, Lehi, as he went forth prayed unto the Lord, yea, even with all his heart, in behalf of his people. In other words, when big “P” Prophets speak, little “p” prophets get on their knees.  This is the first lesson Nephi gives us and as he writes, he repeats the essential, basi...

 Over the years, as I’ve talked with people about the Book of Mormon and especially about Nephi, I always hear the same things. It goes something along the lines of, “The stories are good, but those Isaiah chapter…” And that seems to be what people get from 1 and 2 Nephi.  At one point I thought to write a book about how I see and understand those pages of scripture. But let’s face it, I’m me. Writing a book takes organization and that is something I really do not do well. So instead I’m going to try to pull things together here.  To me, the first 117 pages of the Book of Mormon are the manual for how to enter into the presence of Christ, not when I die, but here in this mortal world in this mortal body. But to convince you of this, I need to first explain what I feel it means to follow Jesus Christ. For as long as I can remember I was told to follow Jesus, to do as He did. As a little girl I wondered how in the world I was going to be able to walk on water, or cause the ...

For many years there has been lurking within me a discontentment with the idea that we have to repent to make us worthy. I mean, I understand that is true using certain definitions. But it has had a feeling with it that smacked of untruth for me. The undertone, based on my definitions, when people said those words was something along the lines of us being barred from God until we become “worthy” through our repentance. It felt like God’s motive in commanding us to repent was so that we could come up a little closer to Him. It felt like a separation between me and God, a wall, and I didn’t like it. It smacked of God saying I was not worthy to touch the hem of His garment and had to grovel a bit before He would deign to hear me. Maybe I’m the only one who caught those undertones when people spoke of repentance. But they always seemed to be there and I’ve always felt a great discontent with the distance it puts between our Heavenly Parents and their beloved children. This last week I’ve h...

 We live in a society that is focused on perfection - either a person is a perfectionist or they shun perfectionism. Our definition of perfection is toxic and painful and harmful. In Hebrew, where we read that Abraham was commanded to be perfect, or that Noah was a “perfect man in his generation” the word “perfect” means something different than our modern definition of that word. When reading in Hebrew, you have to take each word one letter at a time because each letter is so full of meaning. After studying that word for a very long time, I began to see it form into something different than I expected. I had often heard people refer to the number “7” in Hebrew as the definition of perfect - meaning whole and complete. But even this misses the mark. It is only a portion of the definition and it gives the wrong impression of the word. The word “perfect” is hard to articulate, because I don’t know if you understand each word I use in the way I use it or if you are defining it differe...

  “Whom shall he teach a knowledge ? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are b weaned from the c milk , and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, a precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little…” Isaiah 28:9-10 God, from the beginning of the fall of Adam and Eve, instituted the eternal laws of progression; a pattern for learning. There is an order to progression. It comes the same way for every one of us, from the least to the greatest. We are taught that even Jesus Christ, our Savior and Mediator, learned in this fashion. He did not have a fullness at first, but learned line upon line. (Luke 2:40, Doctrine and Covenants 93:12-14) Thus the pattern was established that we should grow into our gifts, our purposes for being on this earth, and our eternal progressions. Understanding that this is the way our Father in Heaven works, I have always struggled with the idea that Joseph Smith was a pro...

For years and years the phrase "I AM..." has been what I call the "phrase of creation." To me it is the phrase that is the "abracadabra" of life. Abracadabra is a Hebrew word. It means - in a very loose translation - I create what I speak. "I am" followed by whatever we say is an internal command to our body, our thing that we have god-like command over, our second estate. This body obeys what I tell it to do. It obeys my emotions, those things to which I most deeply attune. It obeys my words when I truly believe the things I say. "I am tired...I am fat...I am lonely...I am...." My body and my life obey that which I speak into existence. These thoughts have all come as a result of studying the idea that God, when announcing Himself to the children of Israel through Moses, told Moses to tell them "I AM hath sent me." For the next six months, I've decided I'm going to dedicate 35 days of study to each of the first ...