From Fasting to Feasting

For years and years the phrase "I AM..." has been what I call the "phrase of creation." To me it is the phrase that is the "abracadabra" of life. Abracadabra is a Hebrew word. It means - in a very loose translation - I create what I speak. "I am" followed by whatever we say is an internal command to our body, our thing that we have god-like command over, our second estate. This body obeys what I tell it to do. It obeys my emotions, those things to which I most deeply attune. It obeys my words when I truly believe the things I say. "I am tired...I am fat...I am lonely...I am...." My body and my life obey that which I speak into existence. These thoughts have all come as a result of studying the idea that God, when announcing Himself to the children of Israel through Moses, told Moses to tell them "I AM hath sent me." For the next six months, I've decided I'm going to dedicate 35 days of study to each of the first ...

The Olive Tree is symbolic of each one of us.  You are the tree.  And all of this connects back to the symbolism from the Tree of Life we talked about in a previous post.   But that will not be discussed here.  Let's just talk about this allegory for now. Verses 1-3 "Behold, my brethren, do ye not remember to have read the words of the prophet Zenos, which he spake unto the house of Israel, saying: Hearken, O ye house of Israel, and hear the words of me, a prophet of the Lord.  For behold, thus saith the Lord, I will liken thee, O house of Israel, like unto a tame olive-tree, which a man took and nourished in his vineyard; and it grew, and waxed old, and began to decay." Here Jacob tells us that they have already been taught this at least once by saying, "...do ye not remember...the words of the prophet Zenos..."  And we know they have been taught because we are told in 1 Nephi 10:12 that Lehi spoke "much" about this prophecy.  Wow.  With Jac...

As we continue on with the conversation of Jacob in preparing us to understand the Olive Tree Allegory, he begins to tell us the real purpose for the truths he is going to make known to us. In verses 11, Jacob is telling us to reconciled to Christ, that we might obtain a resurrection in Christ, "...and be presented as the first-fruits of Christ unto God, having faith, and obtained a good hope of glory in him before he manifesteth himself in the flesh."  In other words, we are to be reconciled to God through Christ, by way of the Atonement of the Savior.  What do these words mean?  Application and personal receiving of the Atonement into our hearts for sure.  But there is more to it than that.  Jacob goes from speaking of reconciliation to the stumbling of the Jews to being filled with the spirit of prophecy to teaching the parable of the olive tree.  This, it would seem, is the answer to what it means to be reconciled to Christ and to God through the Ato...

In Mosiah chapter four, we find the people of King Benjamin just after he has taught them great truths about the Savior, His Atonement, the natural man, and many other notable and important doctrines.  They were understanding them with their hearts (whether or not they understood with their heads) for perhaps the first time in their lives.  And their reaction was one of true repentance.  "And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth.  And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.  And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their...

My entire life I remember hearing the story of Mary and Martha.  All growing up we were taught about Mary choosing "the better part" and somehow that was translated into the work of upkeeping a home is not important - or is at least lessor work.  Somehow, someone somewhere said that Martha's work of making food or cleaning or whatever she was actually doing in that moment was far less important than Mary, sitting at the Savior's feet and learning. Martha became defined as a woman who lacked faith while Mary was a woman of great faith.  Chores became defined as menial tasks which are done by those who are of lessor faith than those who seek out the Lord. Today, I'd like to explain the way I see what the Lord was saying to Mary and Martha that day when Martha complained that Mary was not helping with the work. First, the Lord did not say Mary had chosen the better task.  He said she had chosen the "good part." Let's review the actual words. ...

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid upon him the iniquity of us all." Each one of us has, rather than choosing the yoke of Grace and the burden of light, chosen to indulge in darkness.  We have turned, each one of us, to our own way of doing things.  We have each maintained our agency and the Lord has taken upon Himself each choice and each moment of living.  This verse again speaks to me, deeply, of the eternal import the role of agency plays. Now Isaiah is getting into the actual moments of the Savior's life which encompass the Atonement.  These verses were easier for me to understand because they are talked about much more. "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb before the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.  He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation...

Let us continue on with Isaiah's truths. "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." If we see the joy and rejoice, truly, in the existence of Gethsemane as a moment that is and always has been and always will be through the mortal portion of existence, then this verse also becomes more clear. We esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, afflicted....BUT - or in other words, THAT IS NOT TRUE. But He was wounded for us.  He was bruised for us.  The things we need to experience in this life that will lead us to really learn to accept peace into our souls are all His to carry.  With His stripes WE ARE HEALED. If you delight to save, then there is nothing more joyful than a soul who is healing.  Nothing.  His sacrifice only becomes burdensome when we choose to make it burdensome.  We choose to see it as a horrible necessity rather than the...

 Sometime it will be good to go over the entire chiasmus of this doctrine - which comprises chapters 51-55 of Isaiah.  But in order to really comprehend the entirety of what Isaiah is trying to say, we must first understand chapter 53.  Then we can understand all of those chapters and then they, in turn will give deeper meaning and understanding to the center point of it all. So let's begin with chapter 53. "Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?' When I saw what I saw , these words made more sense to me than I ever imagined.  They are exactly how I felt.  Isaiah and I were suddenly speaking the same language.  Suddenly I realized how fantastical this all seemed - and yet how completely normal and right and true it felt.  "For he (Jesus Christ) shall grow up before him (Jehovah*) as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he (Jesus Christ) hath no form or comeliness; and when we shall see him (Je...

These next posts about how I see the Savior are excessively personal and sacred.  It has been impressed upon my heart to share them, but I hope that if you are not in a space to read and treat these things as sacred, that you will come back at another time.  I do not trifle with sacred things and I hope that you feel the same. Also, please be so aware that this is my personal testimony.  These are things I have learned at great cost and great sacrifice.  I do not claim them to be the doctrine of the LDS church and I do not claim to have the authority to teach these things as such.  This is my testimony as gained through my experiences and my interpretations of those experiences. There was a time in my life when the name Jesus Christ only meant some imaginary being with whom I had no connection.  He was not real to me.  I did not know Him.  I believed He was real - that was never a question for me.  But I did not have a relationship with H...

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." "And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot." In hebrew, the word "perfect" has a different meaning than the way we tend to understand it in English. A very general interpretation would be to see all of the parts that make up the whole. The parts do not all have to be functioning properly, it is only required to see them. So if that is true, th...

Okay.  We are taking on the flaming sword today. What exactly do cherubim have to do with all of this?  I'm going to do my best to give to you the understanding I have - and I hope I don't leave out anything.  All of these truths came to me in small increments through periods of extended study.  Sometimes I feel like I'm leaving things out because I don't remember all of the steps in order.  But I'm doing my best.  By the way, if ever I've lost you or you have questions about what I'm sharing, please ask.  Please comment or email me and I'd love to share more or help clarify things. Now on to cherubim. Cherubim are gate-keepers for knowledge.  They dictate how far along the path to the way of the tree of life we go, depending on our internal state.  They block the way only when we are not ready to progress and moving along would do us eternal harm.  They guard and keep the way when we are ready to move forward on that path which le...

In Ether 12:27 we read: 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. And then verse 37 in part states: 37 And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father. So let's start with verse 27.  The Lord says that if we come unto Him, He will show us our weakness.  I love this because it means I don't have to listen to anything anyone else says about my faults or flaws.  I don't have to be worried about what order they think I should work on things.  It's about me and the Lord and no one else.  Now, this is not to say I should be proud or stubborn.  I'm not saying anything like that.  Jus...

When the words of Isaiah 29 first began to sink into my consciousness, I was shaking and scared, thinking about what I understood.  Isaiah was telling me that the Lord wanted me to just be real with Him.  He was telling me to say things to the Lord, to admit to Him the things I wasn't even willing to acknowledge to myself for fear they would prove just how horrible of a person I was.  He wanted me to just talk with Him about everything.  To let it all just come out - everything.  To not worry about whether or not I was being respectful by my parents' definition or following protocol as laid out by manuals, but just really get in there and let those strangers and terrible ones become known. I had several hours of driving ahead of me and so I just began, as I was driving my big 18-wheeler down the road.  I started off very timid and scared.  The first thing I said was, "Please don't kill me if I'm wrong.  This is what it seems like Isaiah is sayin...

Okay.  So let's just dive in.  The actual verses from the KJV will be in black and my added comments will be in blue.  Also, as we begin please know that I respect and honor men and women equally.  I also think it is very silly to change wording to reflect gender.  When I say "man", I'm speaking of mankind unless the context is clear that I am speaking of that gender.  When I say "natural man" I don't feel it necessary and in fact, feel it a little silly to add "natural woman."  Besides it always puts that song in my head.  A song I don't particularly like.  So please don't be offended by me.  I simply think the extra work is a waste of time which could be spent sharing our hearts rather than speaking to our pride and ego and separation. 1  Woe   to   Ariel, to Ariel, the city   where   David dwelt! add ye year to year; let them kill sacrifices. Ariel is another name for Jerusalem, which is symbolic of Zion...